Dealing with Loss and Holding it Together


“Moody Blues” 20 x 16 mixed media on canvas

Losing someone you love or experiencing something that you have no control over can send you spiraling into a place you’ve never been before. Some people panic. Others may walk trance-like through their day allowing others to pick up the pieces. And some may literally crash into helplessness and depression; perhaps even experience suicidal thoughts, and heaven forbid act on them.

This roller coaster of emotion can be experienced at the loss of your dreams, loss of a career, time lost through neglect or a disease such as alcoholism. Every life experiences loss. There may be great financial loss. The loss of a limb or a breast. The loss of status or reputation or life-changing experiences that may throw you for a loop and drastically alter your life forever.


“Broken Hearted” 11 x 14 pastel in matt & ready to frame

Keeping it all together is a major fete. Those who rely on a higher power forge ahead with peace and strength initially, and then may sink into despair later. Grief counseling can help. Understanding the normal stages of the grieving process is a starting place. Accept the fact that you may go through these emotions: denial, anger, sadness and finally acceptance.

But there are other things you may have to do. Let’s call it “working” through your pain.” These steps will assist you in getting back to your normal routines:

  • -First believe that you can do this. Others have walked this same path before you and they have survived.
  • -Find the strength within you. Like hidden gold, you have a treasure trove of undiscovered assets within you that can get you through this. Discover your unused power and a will to live.
  • -Stop the “blame game.” The tragedy and mistakes of the past are not anyone’s fault. We are all victims of our own human weakness and the forces of nature. Bad things happen to everyone.
  • -Forgiveness can wash away anger, hatred, and self-pity. Let go of your negative feelings and allow forgiveness to cleanse your soul even if it means forgiving yourself.
  • -Fill your heart with hope. Your life and circumstances will get better with time. There is a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. Hope may burn as a tiny candle, but it will glow brighter if you continue to rekindle its light with positive thoughts and promise for the future.
  • -Learn to trust again. You do have the talent and the skill to forge ahead. You are capable and confident. You can do it!  Get back on that horse and try again. Believe in yourself and others.
  • -You will love again. Let go of the past which is gone and out of your control. Find new friends who lift you up and make you want to recapture life and living; friends who inspire you and make you want to be a better person.

Some of us must learn the hard way and experience hard knocks before we gain enough confidence to take life by the horns. Be determined. Your life is not over just because your heart is broken or your vanity has been bruised. Fight for what you want, but in a good way. Don’t give up because someone else has said you’re no good. They are speaking from their own self-contempt and not about you.


“Robin Hood” 16×20 oil on canvas

In God’s eyes each of us is precious, unique and unrepeatable. The greatest sorrow is that most human beings never recognize this. They go through their whole lives alone, wallowing in their own self-imposed reality, without ever experiencing the love of God. Without God life is meaningless.

In dealing with loss and pain, there is no shame in depending on the strength of God. It’s a no-brainer. If you allow bitterness or anger to come between you and God, you are left to deal with your losses alone. God alone has the power to heal you spiritual pain.

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